On Friday, I hit the road for a workshop weekend, and I just returned home today. It was, in short, a fantastic trip, and I’ve got some very reflective thoughts to share some day, but today is not that day.

Today is the day where I will amuse, amaze, and bewilder you:

1) My very first pit stop on Friday was at a rest area. I was about an hour and a half into driving when nature called, and I debated pulling off the interstate, thinking I could hold it for another 30-40 miles. I decided not to be cruel to my bladder, and did what I had to do. However, it was while answering nature’s call that I received a VERY IMPORTANT PHONE CALL from work. It was of the good news variety, but I’m also, yanno, indisposed. In the process of trying to figure out a way to keep background noise from leaking through the call, I manage to hang up on this very important person and couldn’t call back because it’s not a direct line. Fortunately, the very important person called back, and at this point, I was in far better shape to receive a call.

2) My second pit stop was at a Subway, and of course, in addition to eating, I also had to use the bathroom (I promise, not all of these are about the bathroom). Before I get up to toss the trash, a group of kids (young men, tall and skinny, probably high school/college-aged soccer players or cross-country runners) come in and line up at the counter. A smaller group of the guys head straight back to the bathroom, and when I went to the ladies room, the door unlocked right before I got there and a guy walked out. I figure, why not? Subway only has one toilet for men, one for women, and when you gotta go, you gotta go. However, my rather relaxed attitude evaporated when I saw the guy hadn’t flushed. I seriously, and honestly, do not understand why people don’t flush toilets, men or women. Is it because they’re the product of helicopter parents who do everything for them? If that’s the case, it’s a wonder this guy knew to wipe.

3) First night in the hotel, I decided to try out the heater, simply because I was alone in the room and I could make it as toasty as I wanted. Based on the burnt-toast smell coming from said heater, it was the first time it’d been turned on for the season. I wasn’t worried, because I knew that would go away, so I crawled back under the covers, just in time to hear the smoke alarm shriek bloody murder. At midnight. It’s a wonder the whole hotel didn’t wake up. The good news is I burned nothing down, got the heater fixed, and slept nice and toasty during my stay.

4) On my way home, I stopped at a Chick-Fil-A for lunch. I’ve yet to have bad customer service at this franchise, and today was above and beyond the call of good customer service. It’d just started to rain when I arrived, but while I was eating, the rain decided to level up to monsoon levels. Lots of wind, lots of hard rain. I wait for it to let up, pull up my hood and prepare myself for the sprint to my car, when one of the employees gestures to a stack of umbrellas by the door and offers to walk me to my car. And after determining the offer was indeed genuine, he did. I still got a bit wet (it’s really hard to stay dry when the wind makes the rain sideways), but I was a lot dyer than I would’ve been otherwise. Thanks, Chick-Fil-A!

And those are my random adventures from traveling this weekend, preserved here in the interwebs in case I ever forget.

Reading: Perdition by Ann Aguirre
Watching: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Gotham, Sleepy Hollow