Writing

Letting Go: Continued

~ Shara ~ 4 Comments

So on Tuesday I talked about my plan for my short stories: when to push forward, and when to let them go. The old ones are getting let go. This was partially inspired by common sense and partially inspired by Carrie Vaughn’s post “On Being Prolific”. I promised that my novels were another post for another day, and it’s another day, so let’s do this post before I completely forget about it.

So, the plan for my novels? I’m not trunking anything. Every time I think I’ve moved beyond my thesis novel, the SF novel code named Telepathic Soulmates, I realize I’m still deeply invested in that world. Last year, I wrote a prequel, code name LB Prequel (fun fact, I still haven’t found a title for that sucker, yet), and it taught me so much about my world-building and things I want to fix and tweak in Telepathic Soulmates. This isn’t a novel I need trunk, at least not yet.

I still believe in the wisdom that Vaughn has to share. But when I read the Telepathic Soulmates draft, I don’t feel I’m beyond it. The world is so rich, and has so much potential, that it’s easy to get sucked right back into it all over again.

So I’m not trunking it. And I believe that with novels, unlike short stories, you need more distance from them in order to be effective in revising them. Since I’m not considered professional by any sense of the word, I may change my tune when my writing becomes a paying career, rather than an intense hobby. What I really need to learn is how to move on to a new project rather than taking a months-long writing vacation. I’ll still let the recently finished project sit, because my novels need that. It’s just that now, I intend to be working on something else, preferably something completely different.

Some breaks happen because they’re necessary, because real life gets in the way and trying to focus on anything creative is an exercise in futility. Other times, you just need a break from what you were writing, but that doesn’t mean you should stop writing. You should just write something different.

Writing Wednesday: Getting Back in the Saddle

~ Shara ~ Leave a comment

I had such high hopes for this year, but you know what they say about best laid plans and all of that. For those of you who’ve been following this blog for a while, or if you know me really well, you know 2014 has been a tough year for me personally. Things are looking up, and I may get into that at a later time, but for now, I want to focus on something tangible. Like creating another alliterative weekly post. 🙂

So the idea behind “Writing Wednesdays” is to basically give a progress report for what I accomplished writing-wise during the week. Not too formal, not too structured, but something to keep me accountable and give you all a chance to hear about what I’m working on.

Right now, I’m free-writing. I started on 6/30 with a toying in a secondary fantasy setting, but while I’ve been chewing on the setting for a while, I’m not sure where I really want to go with that world, so short of writing a page-and-a-half scene, I’ve got nothing. So on 7/3 and 7/7, I started free-writing in an urban fantasy setting I’ve been brainstorming for a while. I like the opening, but the second scene I’m feeling my way through, and I’m having to consider what I’m really driving at in the story and what I want the payoff to be. But it’ll be fun to think about. I’ve been thinking about the magic system for a while, so it’s going to be fun to play around with.

I also decided to take my short story that got rejected from F&SF and start putting it back out in the market. I’m too superstitious to say the name of the story or where I sent it, but should it get accepted or rejected, I’ll reveal the market and likely ask for suggestions for other markets, should the response be a big fat no. This is submission #18 for the story.

And that’s all I wrote!

Short Fiction: Letting Go

~ Shara ~ Leave a comment

And there’s one other trait I hit on lately:  Abandonment.  Knowing when to let go.  Being able to move on to the next thing when one thing isn’t working.

What this means if you’re an aspiring writer, if you want to be a professional writer:  Don’t pin all your hopes on one thing. As soon as you finish writing that first story, that first novel — start the next. Immediately.

—Carrie Vaughn, “On Being Prolific”

Earlier this year, I opened up the file that contained all of the short stories I wrote during my stint at Odyssey back in 2005. The reason for this was simple: Lightspeed Magazine was accepting submissions for their Women Destroy Science Fiction! issue, and I wanted to see which of those stories I’d worked on would be most appropriate to dust off, polish up, and submit.

But after reading each of those stories, and all of the short stories I wrote since then for various purposes, I found myself largely dissatisfied. It wasn’t that the stories were totally bad: they still needed revision, but my problem was that I’d moved on. I wasn’t the same person who wrote those short stories, and the revisions that need to be made should’ve been made back then, not now. Not by the current me, who is so far removed emotionally that while I recognize there’s good stuff in those stories, and I definitely learned something from those stories, they aren’t the stories I want to tell now. I definitely don’t want to get sucked in the mire of working on such old material when I really need to be stretching my brain and working on something new.

It was a frustrating lesson to learn on a lot of levels. Frustrating, but necessary.

So from here on out, this will be my modus operandi for short fiction:

1) Write.
2) Get it critiqued.
3) Revise.
4) Get final feedback.
5) Polish.
6) Send it out.

No breaks in between. No letting something “sit” for a while. With short fiction, it is what it is. I’ve now got ten years experience on the girl who was at Odyssey. I’m not the same girl who was learning how to hone her craft and slowly gaining confidence writing SF/F, which was still such a very new genre to me back then. I know why I let those stories sit:

I wasn’t confident.

I wanted to make sure things were perfect.

I feared rejection.

I felt like a story wasn’t ready to go out unless all readers I sent it to for feedback gave me a thumbs up.

I felt like a story wasn’t worth publishing unless a big market accepted it.

I now know that way lies madness. And likely dragons. And right now, I’ve got enough dragons to battle in my own head, thanks. No need to add more.

So if you’re an aspiring writer, and you’re revising and revising and revising, or maybe you wrote something and you’re letting it sit for a while (which, in some cases, isn’t wholly a bad thing, but that’s a post for another day), you need to learn when to submit, and when to let it go. Carrie Vaughn’s above-referenced post has some excellent advice. Right now, I’m applying that advice to my short fiction: letting the old stuff go and learning from the past.

As for my novels? Well, that’s a different story and a different post. 🙂

Fiction Friday: Doing My Homework

~ Shara ~ 4 Comments

There will be no Fiction Friday today, no matter what the title of this posts says. Reason for this is the 4th of July holiday, and while I know that’s strictly an American holiday and nobody else gives a fudge, I know today isn’t exactly a highly-trafficked internet day, so why promote a story that’s likely to get overlooked while people (including yours truly) are gorging at the grill?

But in addition to wishing a Happy 4th to all who celebrate it, I wanted to take a moment to highlight the July/August 2014 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction. I haven’t read this magazine in years, and the only reason I picked it up yesterday was because it was the issue guest-edited by C.C. Finlay. And you may still be wondering, “Okay, and….?”

It’s the issue I was rejected from. *insert sad face* You might think it I’m torturing myself by wanting to read all the stories that beat me, and you may be right. However, Finlay will be guest-editing at least two more issues of the magazine. The announcement, reading dates, and deadlines are listed here.

I’ve always wanted to get published in this magazine, and rightly or wrongly, I feel I have a better shot with Finlay at the helm than the usual suspects. Of course, I might read this latest issue of F&SF and realize that’s an insane thought, but hey: that’s why you do your homework.

I want to read this issue 1) to discover new voices and read great stories, 2) to figure out what Finlay thinks are great stories and 3) see if I get inspired. Doing my homework doesn’t mean I’m going to intentionally write a story with the editor’s tastes in mind, but it does mean that I’ll know if any of my ideas are even remotely in the ballpark of what he might publish. In other words, I wouldn’t send an fantasy story to Analog, you know?

So here’s to the July/August 2014 issue of F&SF. I hope it doesn’t suck, because if it does, I’ll be bitter. 🙂 But I really don’t think it’ll suck. I’ve read some of the authors who are listed in the Table of Contents, and I’ve been quite pleased with work in the past.

Cover by Maurizio Manzieri For "Palm Strike's Last Case"
Cover by Maurizio Manzieri For “Palm Strike’s Last Case”

The Write Stuff: 2/23/14

~ Shara ~ 6 Comments

Originally, I was going to post when I accomplished something BIG in terms of my writing. Well, there’s not always going to be something BIG every month, and since I want to at least do monthly writing updates, I need to post whether I’ve got something big or not.

When last we left off, I’d sent off Magic Elves [codename] to my beta reader and was waiting on feedback. I’d also sent off my short story to the C.C. Finlay edited edition of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, and I getting ready to work on a short story for the Women Destroy Science Fiction! edition of Lightspeed.

So let’s start there:

1) Got my feedback on Magic Elves and did a brainstorming session with my beta reader about revising. Got some great stuff, and I’m trying to work this into a synopsis/brainstorming guide for revisions. This is something I’m working on for my upcoming workshop, and it’s due March 5th. I started out writing a long, detailed synopsis, and that was just sucking any sort of energy or joy I might’ve had for it, so it’s time to go back to the drawing board. I keep thinking I have enough time, but I don’t: like I said, it’s due March 5th. Between that and taxes, there’s plenty to keep me busy.

2) My short story for F&SF was rejected, and that’s okay. Sure, I was bummed out, but honestly, that’s the best rejection I’ve ever gotten, particularly for that story. It’s a strange piece that straddles the line between fantasy and literary fiction, and I’ve submitted it to both markets. The irony, or funny thing, or whatever, is that both markets always say it isn’t for them and to try the OTHER market. It’s a piece I still love, and I suspect that if I can’t find a home for it, I may end up self-publishing it on my site. That’s a long way off into the future, but it’s something I’m keeping in my back pocket.

Also fascinating was Finlay’s blog post talking about what the submission process was like and what he learned from it. Very interesting: if you’re a writer, you should read this, whether not or you submitted to the Finlay issue of F&SF.

3) I ended up deciding not to submit to Lightspeed magazine. There were lots of reasons: A) the story I ended up deciding on had the serious potential to spiral into a novel, and I knew if I didn’t write it and let it be what it wanted, if I tried to force it into a certain word count, it’d be a crappy story. B) I also didn’t have enough time to get it written, get it out to critiquers, give them enough time to read and respond, and get it back in time to make proper revisions and get it back out. C) The issue was highly competitive. Very few slots were given to previously unpublished stories, and I knew that established authors had a far better chance at those slots than I would, someone who’s not been published, which led me to D) my submission wouldn’t just be considered for the Women Destroy Science Fiction! Issue, but also any issues thereafter. Which meant, really, there was no hurry. I wanted to focus on getting Magic Elves ready to start before I turn to a project that might or might not be a novel. Also, it’ll give me time to E) really get to know Lightspeed as a market. I submitted to the Kickstarter, and for my efforts I’ve got a yearlong subscription to the mag. This will give me plenty of fiction to chew on and figure out whether or not it’s really the right market for my work. And that’s a good thing.

So now that we’ve caught up there, what have I been doing? Well, if you saw yesterday’s post, you know my focus has been shot. I’ve spent part of my time reading Karl Iglesias’ Writing for Emotional Impact. This was homework from my beta reader, so I did that before attempting any work on my synopsis for the revised book. And, as I mentioned before, I’ve made a few stabs, but in truth, I’ve not accomplished much since January 13th. It is what it is: I’m not going to beat myself up over it. I’ve got lots to do between now and the end of March, some of it writing-related, some of it not, and the way I figure, I’m just going to go with the flow.

The Write Stuff: 1/13/2014

~ Shara ~ 4 Comments

I figured I could just do a writing update at the end of every month, but where’s the fun in being that predictable? Instead, I think I’ll post when I have something worth saying, such as after I’ve completed SOMETHING, and since the first quarter if this year is going to be full of various projects big and small, I think this is a good way to go about it.

So what’s up in my writing world?

Yesterday, I finished the proofreading/formatting pass of Magic Elves (code name). Here are the stats on that sucker: it took me 309 days in 2012 to write 579 pages, which added up to 132,013 words. That means, on average, I wrote 427.23 words per writing day. Talk about a huge difference between 2012 and 2013, where I averaged 916.77 words per writing day, where it took me 117 days to write 107,262 words on 473 pages in the LB Prequel. That’s a definite improvement, but there are a lot of factors to consider.

1) 2012 marked the first year I got back in the saddle after getting my Master’s in 2008 (and after I finished rewriting Telepathic Soulmates). It wasn’t that I didn’t write AT ALL between 2008 and 2012. I had spurts here and there, but I didn’t finish a thing. So it makes sense that getting back in the saddle took time and effort. I’ll never forget the first day of starting Magic Elves. Staring at the blank screen for what felt like hours, unable to swallow the knot of anxiety in my chest. I’m glad I’ve moved beyond that. That doesn’t mean you won’t catch me staring at a blank screen, or that I don’t get anxiety, but it’s for different reasons, and not the crippling kind.

2) Content: both projects I made up as I went along, but with Magic Elves, it was DEFINITELY a case where I didn’t know what I would do from one day to the next. I had a very basic idea, and then ground out a page per day (roughly). With LB Prequel, I was working in an existing world of my own creation, I knew the characters to a certain extent and was learning more about them, and therefore, I was already invested. It’s funny how, even after re-reading Magic Elves, I still find myself rather distant from the project. I hope that, once I really dig in and focus on what makes the novel cool and interesting, that I’ll be more invested during the rewrite, but there’s something to be said about working on a project that’s your baby (which for me is the world of LB Prequel and Telepathic Soulmates) and an idea that morphs into a project that hasn’t been years and years and years and years in the making.

That being said, both worlds — both projects — have been cannibalized from a fantasy novel I started when I was in college. Magic Elves would be more recognizable to those college readers in that the trappings are very similar. However, the characters of Telepathic Soulmates would be familiar to them too, as well as some of the key cultural THINGS that drive the story, albeit in an SF setting.

At any rate, I’ve sent Magic Elves off to my brainstorming reader. While I’m waiting on her feedback, I’ll be working on a short story for the Women Destroy Science Fiction! issue of Lightspeed Magazine. I’ve got three story candidates in mind, and all of them need some serious revision. That being said, I’m going to browse through the magazine some, get a better feel for what they publish, so that I can determine which of those stories might be the best fit (or determine if I’m barking up the wrong creek and need to churn out something completely new and fresh). Now that I’ve sent off my piece to The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, I can focus on this next project, which will be good for me. Already, after re-reading the story I sent off to F & SF, I’m starting to see how my writing style is evolving, and I’m starting to wonder if perhaps, sometime in the near-future, I won’t be working on a novel so much as writing some short fiction, just to see what I can do.

But that’s a musing for another day.

At any rate, it seems that January will be the month where I officially finished writing the discovery draft of the LB Prequel, which I sent off to my daily readers and posted a survey for them to respond to, proofread and adjusted the formatting of the discovery draft of Magic Elves and sent it off to my brainstorming reader, and then posted a short story to The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, of which I’ll get a response hopefully no later than February. No, I’m not telling you the name of the story or what it’s about or even its specific spec-fic genre. I’m kind of superstitious about that, for some reason. But when I get a response, I’ll let you know how it shakes out, okay?

January isn’t over yet, obviously. I have an SF short to get into shape, get feedback on, and get out by February 14th. And by then, I hope to have my feedback, erm, back for Magic Elves, wherein I’ll start working out a synopsis for the rewrite.

I think I can count all of this as a win, no?

On Writing: 2013 Wrap-Up and 2014 Outlook

~ Shara ~ 2 Comments

In my 2013 Reflection post, I talked a little bit about what I was writing in 2013 and my vague plans for 2014. I want to talk more in detail here, and give a kind of outline for 2014 and what I want to accomplish.

2013 marks the second year in a row where I sat down and completed a novel from start to finish. Not a rewrite, not a revision. A zero-draft. A make-it-up-as-you-go-along draft. A crap draft. A dogfood draft. Whatever you want to call it, it’s the draft where you have an idea and want to explore it and see where it takes you. No pressure, no outlines, no real deadlines, just the need to sit down and prove it can be written. In 2012 that zero-draft was Magic Elves (codename). 2013 was the LB Prequel (I don’t even have a real title for this project, but it’s a prequel to Telepathic Soulmates). I didn’t QUITE finish LB Prequel in 2013. I did spend a good chunk of New Year’s Eve pounding out 33 pages, getting me through the major climax and turning points of the novel. I thought, afterwards, I’d only have two scenes left to wrap up the book, but when I sat down on New Year’s Day, I realized I was very much mistaken, and it took me all afternoon/evening to write 21 pages. A lot of that time was spent staring at the screen, trying to figure out just what the right note was to end the book on. It’s a different sort of ending for me. All of my novels (three to date) have bittersweet endings of sorts, but this one is happier than the other two (though my daily readers might disagree with that once they see what I did in the climax), which is a nice difference. I made a conscious effort not to do certain things in this particular ending, and I think I’m growing a bit, even if the bare bones of the zero-drafts still need a lot of work.

That being said, considering I started the LB Prequel thinking it’d be a novella and a straight up romance at that (SF romance, mind you, but primarily romance), this project turned into something quite different, something much bigger. It’s still a romance, and it’s still set in the SF world established in Telepathic Soulmates, but calling the story SF might be charitable. Let’s go with soft/social SFR, how’s that?

Yet I have to give myself some props: for Magic Elves, I basically wrote for 309 days to complete the zero-draft. I can’t tell you how many pages it is or how many words it is as I’m still compiling a full manuscript from my daily pages (stupid me not doing that as I went along; consider that lesson learned), but the goal was a page a day for a full year.

With the LB Prequel, it took me 117 days to write 107,262 words, which averages 916.77 words per day (and by per day, I mean per writing day). That is the fastest I’ve ever written a zero-draft, I’m pretty sure. I’d have to go look at the zero-draft of Telepathic Soulmates to be certain, but considering how long it took me to get to the point where I could even churn out a zero-draft without starting over? I’ve come a LONG way, baby, and I think this paragraph alone is a testament of why it’s important to have projects, to have some kind of daily goal, to have some kind of structure. Because even if you tell yourself you’re writing crappy, zero-drafts that will need a shit-ton of work and should never see the light of day until said shit-ton of work is finished, you’re still teaching yourself how to be a writer.

For me, it’s learning that unless I’m taking a vacation/sick/mental-health/drinking-too-much day (aka, take the night off), I need to head to my office around 9:00-9:30 pm, sit down, and start writing until it’s bedtime (and since I work a full 40 hours a week, that means going to bed before midnight on most days). In 2012, it was a page-a-day of Magic Elves. In 2013, it was progress in LB Prequel. My unconscious minimum was always at least a single, double-spaced page, but for the LB Prequel, I often wrote far more than that. Maybe I shouldn’t be so proud that it took me less than half a year to write it, because I was familiar with the world and the characters, and so what I was discovering wasn’t coming from the ground up. But whatever: the LB Prequel had a lot of surprises for me, some outright delightful ones in terms of plotting and character and motivation, so even though it needs a lot of work before I’d ever consider submitting it, I’m pretty happy with what I was able to do. I’m pretty happy with the habits that I’m instilling in myself as a writer.

What have I learned? That I’m happiest when I dedicate myself to a specific project for a set amount of time (beyond REASONABLE set amount of time, mind you). That I’m pretty much a night-writer, with exception of coming right up on my self-imposed deadlines, in which case I can plunk myself in front of a computer and write my ass off. You’d think these lessons would’ve been learned and instilled in my during my 2.5 years at my Master’s program, but there were other factors demanding my attention there, so I’m not surprised it’s taken me doing this on my own (with the help and encouragement of my daily readers, as I would literally be wallowing in self-hatred without them) to learn these lessons.

So with that in mind, what’s in store of 2014?

Yesterday, I sent a survey to my daily readers to fill out once they finish reading LB Prequel. Because while I have no intention on revising this beast this year, I do want those comments handy for the day when I do sit down and whip the sucker into shape. I wish I’d done it with Magic Elves, because 2014 is the year I plan on whipping Magic Elves into shape. The plan is to compile all those daily pages into a single, full manuscript, read the sucker and take notes (and hate myself and how bad and awful it is), and then write a synopsis as it stands. A long, detailed synopsis. Which will be critiqued by a highly intelligent and awesome group of writer friends and colleagues, and then using that feedback, and all of my notes, I’ll brainstorm the bastard with one of my daily readers and come up with an official outline for revision. It’s a funny thing, outlines: I’ve learned I can’t use them for zero-drafts. If I do, I drive myself crazy and fall out of love with the story. So essentially, the zero-draft is my discovery draft. But once that’s done and I can see the shape and potential of it? Outline all the way, baby.

The brainstorming session will happen end of March, early April. Which means from early April on, I’ll be rewriting Magic Elves (unless something new and shiny distracts me. I should always allow for the possibility of distraction when it comes to cool new ideas). I suppose the deadline to finish that rewrite will be the end of 2014, but I think I’ll wait to make any promises until I see what the rewrite will entail. I may need a shorter period. I may need a longer one.

Until then, I plan on using my evening writing time to focus on submitting short fiction for both the Charles Coleman Finlay guest-edited issue of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction (deadline for submissions January 14), and the Women Destroy Science Fiction! special issue of Lightspeed Magazine (deadline February 14th). Once those deadlines are passed, I should be working hard on that synopsis, the crafting of which will take me to my March/April brainstorming session.

So that’s that. Plans are subject to change, of course, and while I’m not currently working on a new novel, I may designate some of these night-writing times for blogging, because I’d like to do more of it this calendar year, but I’m not going to make any goals or resolutions for that. Writing fiction is the priority. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

A Year in Reflection: 2013

~ Shara ~ 7 Comments

Every year, I struggle to believe that it’s already over. I remember when I was a child, when my year was structured into definitive patterns: school, break, vacation, etc. Now the months just slide on by, because every day of every month is marked with more of the same. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. When I was compiling addresses for Christmas cards this year, I always felt at a loss when people asked what I’ve been up to lately, because for me, the answer is, the same old thing. I don’t look at my life as anything interesting or exciting, and as a result, when people ask what’s up, all I do is shrug, you know?

I realized, a few days ago, that such a response is somewhat disingenuous of me. Because while my life is not filled with the crazy ups and downs (we don’t have kids, we’re not having marital difficulty, we’ve not moved or had major job upheavals, etc), there are things I should be really, really proud of this year, things that are worth talking about. So I thought I’d share them here, with you.

1) I retired the book blog. It was a bittersweet event, but one I knew needed to happen, because it was a major source of anxiety for me, and I found I was getting more and more jaded by the books I read, rather than simply enjoying them for what they were. Looking back, I’m very proud of all the work I did there and the community I fostered, but I don’t regret closing it. I can’t believe I found the time to read so much or write so many reviews. But that’s because I’ve filled that time with other things.

2) I’m slowly getting over my cooking-phobia. It’s a running joke in mine and my husband’s families: I don’t cook. I can do a few things, sure, but any more than those few things I’m likely to screw up somehow (like the time I put the Hot Pocket in the microwave without its cooking sleeve). My husband and I have a handful of things we argue about, and cooking is one of them. However, ever since I discovered the Andes Mint Cookie recipe, I’ve been starting to branch out and getting a wee bit more comfortable in the kitchen. Mostly cookies, and cake-mix cookies at that. However, I’ve also tried a few glazes for salmon, and of the meals we usually make, I started helping out more and have gradually gotten to the point where, if need be, I can do it myself. I know I need to branch out even more, but this year’s been a good step.

3) I’ve actually developed an exercise regimen and I’ve stuck to it. Mostly. The spring got me walking again, and my employer’s walking initiative kicked my motivation into competitive mode so that I can reach and pass 10,000 steps a day. Not only did that get me walking daily, but it also got me on the elliptical every morning before work for 30 minutes. The walking initiative is over, and with the time change and colder weather, walking is on the back-burner until the weather warms up again, but I’ve kept up the elliptical, which is something of an amazing accomplishment for me. I’d like to find something to complement it next year, and that’s going to take some digging, but working out on a regular basis has been an amazing thing, not because I love exercise or anything, but because I’ve kept it up (we won’t talk about the recent holiday gorging on sweets or the days I’ve been skipping due to my cold, no sir).

4) While I can’t talk specifics, we reached a great milestone at work, and as a result, I was treated to an all-expense paid trip to St. Louis to visit headquarters and attend some fantastic sessions to keep upping my game at work and sessions that I could also apply to my own personal life in terms of, well, just being better. Learning how to undo negative thinking and trying to take more positive routes isn’t something that’s done overnight, but trying to take the more positive route in my head instead of the negative one has been really helpful and uplifting. I find myself more cheerful and less stressed. That doesn’t mean NO stress. I’ve had a few late nights at work where it felt like everything was piling up on me, but the difference is before, I would’ve gone home with a migraine, and now I’m not. This is something I’m still working on, but that trip to St. Louis taught me a lot about myself and my job and what I want to accomplish, and that’s a good thing.

5) This is more nebulous, but I realized I’ve got to stop compartmentalizing my life. I’ve always treated my life like a little kid treats their dinner plate: things must not touch! So I had college friends in one box, writing friends in another, family in another, my interests in a billion different ones, and so on and so forth. Do you know how draining it is trying to be one person for each of things things, rather than embracing it all and saying if you don’t like it, fuck it? Seriously. Growing up, I groomed myself to be the kind of person that is accommodating and to be what other people want and expect. And to some extent, that’s a good trait to have (especially when you work with the public on any level), but everywhere else, it’s exhausting. I shouldn’t be apologetic for my interests, no matter how disparate they appear, and I need to stop living in the mind set of “One day, when I grow up, life will be THIS.” Fuck that. I’m 33 years old and living life NOW. What, exactly, am I waiting for? It’s time to take who and what I am and take the cards life’s given me and play the best hand possible, rather than waiting on the magical winning hand that’ll give me the ever-elusive jackpot. And on that note:

6) Like Minute Maid’s slogan says, “Put good in, get good out.” Where I live often gives me a crushing feeling of isolation. None of the people I would call good friends or even best friends are local, and all the writing events or readings I would love to attend aren’t even remotely local, which means in order to visit the people I love, or attend the events I want to, I need to travel, which costs vacation time and money, both of which are not limitless. As a result, I’d find myself feeling bruised and chafed when friends would talk about things they did on Facebook, things I would’ve loved to do but I wasn’t able to (or wasn’t invited). But I realized: what do I expect? I’m not reaching out to these people, I’m not making my interests or wants or desires known. I’ve let my relationships go stagnant, so how can I expect them to include me when I’m probably just an occasional reminder on a Facebook page? I have to start putting myself out there. I have to start re-cultivating these relationships. I have to stop looking at my local friendships as less superior and embrace the time I have with these people, because while I am an introvert by nature, I require a healthy dose of social interaction. In person, online, whatever: put good in, get good out. Time to stop looking in and start looking out.

7) Part of that “put good in, get good out” philosophy is something I’m attributing to myself as a writer. Last year, I finished the crap-draft of a fantasy novel that, in 2014, I’m going to sit down and really hammer into shape. But for 2013, I’m close to finishing a prequel novel to my thesis novel (code name Telepathic Soulmates for those of you who are following up on that). The prequel wasn’t originally going to be an actual novel, but it’s kind of turned into that. I would kill to have it done by the end of the year, but that means I probably shouldn’t be writing this blog post, because I’ve got a decent chunk to churn out if I want to meet that deadline. Regardless, I’ve been happy with my progress this year. I’m starting to take myself a little more seriously as a writer, and I’m trying to look ahead about what I want to accomplish, when I want to accomplish it, and how. The Telepathic Soulmates world is a big one, and I realize it’s not something I want to rush out, because I’m still making discoveries that are molding and shaping the world and its characters. That’s why I’m going to polish the fantasy novel (code name: Magic Elves) next year so that I’ll have something to shop around that isn’t my precious, you know? Also helping shape my writerly frame of mind is the weekly podcast Writing Excuses (15 minutes, because you’re in a hurry, and they’re not that smart–>that’s their slogan. If that doesn’t make you want to listen to the podcast, I don’t know what will). If you’re a writer of any sort (hobby, amateur, want-to-be-professional, whatever), start listening to this puppy. It’s free, and it’s worth it.

8) On December 30th, my husband and I will celebrate our 15 year Together anniversary, and our 5 year wedding anniversary. That’s right: we got married on our ten year dating anniversary. The plan, provided this cold I’m fighting doesn’t get in the way, to go to our favorite fancy-pants restaurant and enjoy good food and good drinks. But 15 years together without killing each other is an amazing thing, and hell, so is five years married. We’ve got each other, and we’ve got the cat. Things are good.

9) I got off the pill. Women know of what I speak. While the hubby and I aren’t trying to have children, being on the pill for so long was doing things to my hormone levels that frankly wasn’t good for me mentally. I’ve been off the pill since June, and that, combined with the exercise and various tweaks I’m making to my diet, have me feeling far, far better, which makes everyone happy.

10) No list is complete without 10 items, right? So last but not least, I’m trying to be more decisive. It’s not that I wasn’t before, but you remember what I said about being accommodating? It’s a bad thing when you’re doing it all the time, or when you think your wants aren’t as important, or you feel like you shouldn’t have the things you want for whatever reason (but namely reasons that are all in your head and involve you punishing yourself). So to that affect, I’ve been trying to be a bit more assertive in the little things: if I want something (for dinner, to listen to on a car ride, to watch a particular movie), I say so. If I definitely don’t want something, I say so. It doesn’t mean I get my way every time, but at least I’m making a clear declaration, you know?

BONUS ITEM: I served on a jury for the first time this year, on a murder trial no less. It was fascinating, and if you missed my break down, you can read all about it here.

That’s my 2013. There were other minor ups and downs, but nothing to expound upon here (though I could put up a post from my cat’s point of view of the year. That would be mighty entertaining). I’ll probably try and put up a post about what I hope for 2014 or what I look forward to, but that’s gonna have to wait. Right now, I’ve got laundry to do, reading to do, and a book to finish writing.

How was your 2013? What was your biggest accomplishment? Any regrets? Things that you want to make better?

It’s a Matter of Focus

~ Shara ~ 8 Comments

So lately, I’ve been having trouble focusing. Not in all areas, mind you: I’m doing well keeping up with the elliptical and my daily walks. My daily installment of Hellblazer is coming along without much fuss. The husband and I have dropped both DirecTV and our land line, and we’ve been using Netflix like it’s going out of style — I’m just now getting to watch Arrested Development for the first time, and we’re working through House of Cards too. Great stuff. Also, movies: World War Z was this past weekend, and Man of Steel the weekend before.

So it’s not like I don’t have plenty to do outside of my day job. But I haven’t been able to focus on reading. I read a page or two, get distracted and do something else. Even if I’m wanting to read the book, my brain is still churning a million miles an hour, thinking of other things.

Namely writing. But instead of THINKING about writing, my brain is pre-writing: in the past week-and-a-half my brain has been swimming in the world-building of Telepathic Soulmates***, working out details for future fixes of that draft while also trying to find the real story in the sequel, Prison Planet, for which I now have a promising arc for, thanks to my good friend Michele. And lastly, I’m writing (yes, writing) a page-a-day, but it’s what I’m calling Not a Prequel Novel. Because I’m not going into it with any sort of real STORY in mind. Rather, I want to take two characters who are supporting characters in Telepathic Soulmates and tell their story. Their story takes place chronologically before Telepathic Soulmates, so it gives me the opportunity I need and want to really explore the world-building in ways I won’t get to do in revision. So it’s fun. I think.

It is funny: when I’m REALLY into whatever I’m writing, I don’t have much brainpower for reading. Which goes a long way in explaining how, when I was book-blogging and reading all the time, I didn’t have any brainpower for writing. The book blog has been closed for month now, and I’m just now able to pore my energies into creating my own fiction instead of absorbing the fiction of others.

Don’t get me wrong: writers have to do both. I’m just trying to find the balance.

*** = as always, these titles are actually aliases for the novels I’m working on, not their REAL titles. Except for Not a Prequel Novel, because it doesn’t have a title and what I would call it would make no sense to anyone who hasn’t read Telepathic Soulmates

Decisions, Decisions

~ Shara ~ 8 Comments

So I’ve STILL been thinking about writing lately. A LOT. But rather than coming up with new projects, my brain seems content to chew on Telepathic Soulmates*** while I wait for some final commentary/critique from a friend. We’ve been chatting about themes in my work, and I’ve been asking her to look for certain things that I worry are issues, and it’s been a very useful thing. And when I get the manuscript back, I’m going to take her comments and another friend’s and start going through the manuscript with a fine-toothed comb. I’ve already started a list of things to cut and things to reinforce, but one thing I’ll definitely be focusing on is character and motivation, and whether or not the characters are, if not likable, at least relatable and understandable. I’ve got three POVs, and it seems one’s in good shape. It’s the other two that fight for likability during the book, and those two definitely need focus. And the ironic thing is this: on a first read, those two characters are really frustrating. But once you get the ending and understand what’s happening, re-reading makes the characters seem so much more sensical. You get where they’re coming from and why, but it’s not something I can reveal at the start of the novel.

What I have to do in revision, however, is curb my instinct to write WHOLE NEW SCENES that somehow make these characters more likable/understandable from the get-go. While I suspect a new scene or two may be in order, what I really want to be able to do is read through the POVs of those characters and find ways to tweak reactions. A line here, an observation there. Maybe acting slightly differently in certain situations. And to do that, I discovered my next writing project, so to speak.

Character vignettes.

In other words, I’m going to sit down and write out the backstories of the three POV characters of my novel. It’s their history. Their origin story (sort of). It’s stuff that’s touched on in the novel proper but not fleshed out in flashbacks, which — in the novel — is exactly what it needs to be.

The vignettes won’t end up in the novel, but they’ll allow me to take a focused look at each of my POV characters and examine who they are, where they came from, and what they wanted out of life years before the novel took place. It’ll put me back into the frame of mind of Telepathic Soulmates, which will allow me, during the editing/polishing process, to make the tweaks I need rather than resort to my default rewriting. Better still, it’ll gear me up for the sequel, Prison Planet, something I’ve already given a lot of thought and outlining too, but realize I still have a ways to go, because I’m not quite happy with the over-arcing plot as it stands (it has logic problems, especially when compounded with my vague plans for a third book).

The trick is, now, to decide how many to write and how I’m going to hold myself accountable. I already know I need an “audience” for my work: immediate feedback keeps the warm fuzzies going and allows me to continue (sue me, I’m a performer at heart, and no, I’m not kidding: I majored in Vocal Performance in undergrad). I suspect what I’ll do is send them to my reading/crit partners even though the vignettes aren’t novellas or short stories or anything like that. They’re free-writing. Pre-writing.

But it’s still writing. And that’s what I need to do.

*** = As always, titles used here are aliases for the REAL working titles I’m using. To find out why, click here.